Beautiful Suicide
by morganaqueen
Summary: The last conversation between Merlin and Morgana. (Modern).


/I was inspired by the photo and story of Evelyn McHale. She commited suicide by jumping off the Empire State Building in 1947. Look up Evelyn McHale to see the photo.

Merlin watched her sadly. He always watchd her sadly. She was the only person since Camelot that he kept track of through the years. Knew when she had been reincarnated. Knew what her new life brought her. If she was happy or not. This life wasn't a happy one for her. It was easy to tell. She sat on the couch across from him, her shoulders slumped and her eyes down.

"He's a good man," She looked up at him, trying to convince herself more than him. "Reminds me of you."

They never talked about that time. About what happened in Camelot. About what she had done. There was no need to. He had forgiven her. It had been thousands of years since then. Sorry wasn't something that was needed to be said.

"If you love him then marry him."

To him it was as simple as that. They couldn't be together. Not in this life time or any life time. They both knew that but doesn't mean she had accepted that fact.

She nodded, looking back down at her lap. If things had been different then maybe he would be the one she was marrying. The one she bought the white dress for. The one that she actually loved. It couldn't be like that though and they both knew it.

"Do you ever think about us?"

It was a stupid question for her to ask. Of course he thought about her. About what they use to have. About what they might have had if things had gone differently. He had had thousands of years to think about it and these thoughts would never go away. They could have gotten married. Had children. Been happy. Those were things that weren't meant to be though. No marriage or children for them.

"No." It was a simple lie to tell but still a lie. She had to move on from him.

The look of pain in her eyes was easy to see but he ignored it. Had to ignore it. If he didn't then he would have pulled her onto his lap and kissed those red lips of hers. He couldn't do that. Not if he wanted her to move on.

"I do," She whispered to herself. Thought about him a lot. About the love she had for him. He had been just a servant in Camelot but that hadn't mattered to her. He was her friend. Her love.

"Nothing can come of us, " He frowned as he said it.

They both knew it. Doesn't mean that either one was happy about it. It was just a painful fact. Something that they had to accept and move on from.

"He loves me," She nodded her head, trying to come up with reasons to marry her fiance.

"Do you love him?" He looked into her eyes. He had to know the answer.

Instead of answering, she just shrugged. They had been dating for five years now. Had lived together for two. They were good together. Took care of each other. But he wasn't Merlin. He wasn't the one she loved.

"I should get going." She stood up and picked up her purse. Heading to the door, she paused and looked back at him, "Do you want me to marry him?"

It was something she had to know. Had to know what he wanted for her life. She would do anything to please him. Anything to make him happy.

He looked down at his hands as he thought about her question. He wanted to marry her. Wanted to be the one she spent the rest of this lifetime with. Wanted to be the one she woke up to.

"I want you to be happy."

She looked away from him and headed out the door.

He read about what happened in the papers. It was all over the news as well. A body had fallen out of the sky and landed on a car below. A young woman with curly brown hair and pale white skin. The way she had landed made her look like a broken angel. Like her wings had fallen off and she just couldn't stay up in the air any longer. 'The Most Beautiful Suicide' they were calling it. The suicide of an angel.

A single note had been found in her purse and they published it along with the photo of her.

"My fiance asked me to marry him in June. I don't think I would make a good wife for anybody. He is much better off without me. Life has been hard but I am in happiness now."

At least she had found happiness in the end. Maybe in her next life things could be different between them. Maybe he could finally find the courage to be with her. He cut out the photo and the note from the paper and tucked them into his pocket. His way of keeping his dark angel close to him until she fell to earth again.


End file.
